Be Brilliant In Your Business Podcast, Episode 99

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“You are able to find solutions once you realize that you have the power to make them.”

Is it just me, or have you too been noticing that ‘entrepreneur overwhelm’ is a trendy topic right now?

Maybe it’s because we’re a year-and-a-half into some really tough times, and feeling pretty much over it. Even the most optimistic folks I know (including me!) are admitting that things have felt harder more often than usual. 

So, I’m glad we’re talking openly about overwhelm. It needs to be talked about because being overwhelmed doesn’t just ‘feel bad,’ it also creates some big problems for your business.

And (there’s always an ‘and’ with me ;) since it’s impossible to completely avoid, it’s important to recognize when you’re in a state of overwhelm and have useful ways to navigate it. Don’t worry, I’ll show you how! 

This week I’m sharing three specific problems that are caused by overwhelm, and solutions for each one.

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Problem One: Your short-sighted decisions are interfering with your long-term goals.

I totally get it! There are a million things to do in a day and unless you’ve found a way to clone yourself, you might not get to everything you want to do. Enter problem number one: you focus on a task that has a short-term benefit, but neglect the less instantly-gratifying tasks that advance your long-term goals. 

How do you know if you are doing this? Well, chances are you are thinking of a personal example right now, but if not, have you ever thought to yourself "I just can't deal with that right now", or "this will have to do", or "it'll be fine". These are the thoughts that can enter your head (well, at least my head) when I am putting off working on those long-term goals.

What’s the CEO solution for short-sighted decision-making? Do a “to-do download”. You will first need to revisit your goals and prioritize them. Get them on paper. Next, make your to-do list. What do you have to do today, this week, this month, etc. Now, look at your to-do list from the angle of achieving your goals. Which items on your list serve your goals? These are the tasks that you should be prioritizing. If it means that some of the other tasks don’t get done, so what? Does it really matter if those tasks get put off a day or two in the grand scheme of things? Remember, there is no right and wrong choice, as long as you feel like you are choosing the most important tasks, you’re doing amazing.

Problem Two: Being overwhelmed is leading you to hide and isolate yourself.

This is a tricky one, because it is a reaction that many of us developed in childhood. When you are feeling overwhelmed, the natural response is to want to shut down and hide yourself away and shield yourself from the judgment of others. We do this because we have been taught, somehow, that by being overwhelmed we are a failure. It is simply not true. There is zero shame in being overwhelmed. 

So, what’s the CEO solution that is going to rewire your brain from when you were young? We’re going to reframe the entire way you look at overwhelm. Think of it this way: overwhelm is an emotion, right? It is not a characteristic. You are not overwhelmed, you are feeling overwhelmed. It is not who you are, it is just a response to your thoughts. This may be hard, but when you notice you are isolating, or not showing up for your work, or hiding, own those actions as choices that you are making due to your negative perception of what it means to be feeling overwhelmed. Recognize that they are your thoughts and you are in control. Repeat to yourself “overwhelm is a feeling - not a characteristic”.

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Problem Three: You are indulging in self-indulgent behavior or avoiding tasks.

Much like problem number one, too much self-indulgence has a short-term benefit, but long-term consequences. You may think that ordering takeout for the third time this week sounds like a great idea because it means no cooking, no mess, and delicious food. But think about when you open the fridge the next morning and there are no leftovers, nothing ready to eat, and you have to be out the door in a matter of minutes. You (and your growling stomach) are not going to be too pleased…

And even if you are not indulging in spending too much time scrolling through social media and putting off work, this response to overwhelm can also manifest as task avoidance. Too scared to check on important metrics because you are worried they will be, how can I say this, less than what you hoped for? You may be scared that what you see will make you question if it is all worth it.

What’s the CEO solution here? You just gotta do it. Eat the frog, as they say. You know it has to be done, but just think about the rewarding feeling of not having to think about it once you have done it. With the momentum of this weight being lifted off your shoulders, you will get that pep back in your step.

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Episode 99 Transcript

[Linsi Brownson]

You are listening to Be Brilliant In Your Business, the podcast that helps creative business owners take charge of your time and energy so you can run your business confidently without burning out. I'm your host, Linsi Brownson, and I'm here to deliver a creative cocktail of pep talks and practical tools to help you clear your head, take action, and enjoy the process of running your business. 

Before we dive into today's episode, I want to welcome new listeners. I'm so glad you're here and I look forward to being part of your brilliant business. Be sure to hit the subscribe button and even better, head to bebrilliantlistener.com to grab your new listener goodie bag. 

Are you ready? Let's go. 

Hey, hey Mavericks. Welcome to the show! Today we are talking about the infamous emotion of entrepreneur overwhelm. This is something that we, of course, have all experienced as business owners. It also seems to be a word - a very buzzy buzzword right now - I'm seeing this word "overwhelm" pop up everywhere I look. Maybe because it's on my radar, maybe because this is just the state of things in the world today - we are all feeling overwhelmed. So, that is not surprising. And of course, every one of my clients, this is something that they experienced from time to time and it stops them in their tracks. 

So, overwhelm is a big problem that we work on in coaching and today, what we're talking about is really why overwhelm isn't just a problem because it feels bad, but actually some very specific ways that it is hurting your business to be in the state of overwhelm. And of course, I never approach any problem without also talking about the solution. So, for each of the problems that I'm going to share today are the mistakes that we make when we're in that state of overwhelm, I have a CEO solution for you to get back into power and make decisions that you feel good about in your business. 

Before we jump into today's episode, I want to share some amazing words that my client Sally shared with me. You may have heard this or seen this on Instagram. I shared her testimonial recently because it just lights my heart up to hear my clients talk about our work together this way, but I wanted to play it here for you as well. So, tune in and hear what Sally has to say about our work together.

[Sally]

“So, I'm a fairly confident person. I know I'm good at what I do. And I love being creative. But lately, I've had a lot of trouble just feeling, you know, the flow of the way I used to. I keep getting disorganized, and feeling behind, and frustrated. At least I did until I started working with Linsi. 

I had absolutely no idea that I needed a life coach. In fact, I would have told you that was the furthest thing from what I needed. One more person to talk to, one more bit of time to block out. And yet, I have really, really loved every single session with Linsi. I finished speaking to her and I am bursting with ideas of how to just streamline everything that I'm doing. I feel a lot more confident, the frustration is almost gone, and I love what I do even more. 

I am a writer, and also a small business owner and I don't know what I would be doing right now without Linsi. Probably going just a little bit crazy. The things that I have enjoyed the most about working with Linsi are how positive she is about what I'm going through and how she brings her experience to the table and just helps me see things from an entirely new perspective. I really am grateful that I found her. I'm grateful to have a business and life coach. Everything about how I think about work is changing and it's only getting better. 

I would highly recommend Linsi to anyone who is struggling, who is feeling the pressure, who might be feeling a little bit disorganized, or like time is just getting away from you. She can help you set things to rights and I can't wait to work with her even more.”

[Linsi Brownson]

All right, so, as I mentioned, this state of overwhelm, this feeling of overwhelm isn't just a problem because it feels bad - it's actually creating some very specific problems that we can see playing out in your business. And one of the first problems that I see most often or one of the first examples, I should say, most common examples that I see with entrepreneurs is overworking. It's burning the candle at both ends, right? When someone comes to me and they're exhausted, they're working really long hours, struggling to find time to be with their families, they're not sleeping well, not taking great care of themselves and it kind of feels like everything in their life is just outside of their control and they're just doing the best they can to keep things moving, but in a reactive way and not in an intentional way. 

And so, the problem that this creates in their business is that they make short sighted decisions. So, when we make a short sighted decision, we're trying to relieve an immediate problem rather than solving a bigger picture problem, or rather than considering the bigger picture consequences, right? So, short sighted decisions generally have a short term benefit, but a long term cost. And the long term cost is usually greater than the short term benefit. And I'll bet that you can probably pretty easily come up with an example of this in your own life. In a recent time when you felt that state of overwhelm and made a decision that you knew wasn't in your best interests long term, but you had the thought, like, "I just can't deal with that right now". or, "this will have to do" or "it'll be fine, right"? When you just brush off your future self. Like, "don't bother me right now. Right now I'm - I'm frustrated. So, I need to just do it this way". And if you can't tell, this is a conversation that I have had with myself many times. I'm very familiar with that line of thinking and I can see the direct relationship between thinking that way, and making short-sighted decisions at the expense of longer term goals or longer-term desires. And so, this is very common. I see this all the time with entrepreneurs and it's one of the reasons that we need to get control over our state of overwhelm. 

So, how do you do that? What is the CEO solution in this moment when you are reacting to everything around you and not making intentional decisions for the long term health of yourself and your business? My recommendation is that you check in with your goals. I would actually write down every single thing that you have on your to do list. So, if you are a listener of the podcast, you've heard me say many times, I'm a big fan of what I call the brain dump, or getting all of your thoughts out on paper. As long as it's in your head, you will believe every word of it as truth and you will act accordingly. So, it's important that you start getting the stuff that is going on in the background out of your head and onto a piece of paper. 

In this case, I would say do a to-do download. Write down everything that you think that you're supposed to be doing over the next day, or couple of days, or week, whatever it - whatever the context of time is for you, that you feel overwhelmed about. So, see what you're working with, get it all on paper and then I want you to restate your intention. What is it that you're really trying to achieve here? Is it a certain goal for your business? Is it a certain quality of life? What really matters to you? And then you take that intention and you use it to audit your to do list. Go through and look at everything that you think that you're supposed to be doing, and see how it measures up to what really matters to you. 

This is really such powerful work to do as a CEO - to carefully consider what is and is not worth your time and energy. And I am certain that there will be things on that list that seem necessary but are not aligned with your best work are not aligned with your bigger goals and intentions. And I want you to consider not doing those things, right? Or consider ways that you could get around them or get them done without you being the one to do it. 

You are able to find solutions when you realize that you have the power to make them - when you realize that you are in fact in control of the choices that you make. That is when your brain gets creative and you start to see solutions where you only saw problems or have-to's before. 

So, one of the common points of confusion or even points of resistance that I run into with people is "okay, but what about those things that are not serving my higher intention or my goal, but they still have to be done? Like, I have to do the laundry, or I have to answer my emails every day". And my question to you first and foremost is - is that true? Is it really true that you have to get the laundry done today? Or tomorrow? Or at all? Is it really true that you have to answer your emails? If you were the CEO in this situation? And it was absolutely crucial that you were spending your time on something else, what would you do? What would happen if you actually could not be there? 

Consider for a moment that you would come up with a solution and if you gave yourself the permission to find that solution now, when you have the choice to do it or not do it, rather than when it's a necessity, what could you create, right? We think so many things are necessary that are not necessary. 

Now, I will say there are consequences to every action, right? So, let's say you decide that you are not going to answer your emails, that you're only going to do it three days a week and that you do, in fact, miss a quote important email. This could happen, right? So, the consequences are something that you want to consider as well but you want to weigh those consequences against the opportunity or the outcome of that bigger picture or longer term goal, right? So, the consequence of missing an important email versus the benefit of finishing your book and getting it off to the editor. Which of these do you believe is more important or more worth your time right now? Whatever your answer is, is perfect. Just be sure that you are considering and deciding on purpose. 

The next problem that overwhelm creates in your business is the act or reaction of hiding or isolating. Something that we often do when we feel overwhelmed - something that we've been trained to do - probably from a very young age - is to shame ourselves for feeling this feeling. We interpret our overwhelm as a personal failure or a personal flaw. So, when we shame ourselves, we hide. That is Rene Brown went extensively into this in her work. but the reaction to shame is isolation. It's getting away from anybody who could possibly see what we're really all about. 

So, we shame ourselves and we believe that feeling overwhelmed, especially if it becomes a chronic issue for us, means that there's something wrong with us personally. As - as a human, as a business owner, there's so many ways that we make this mean something way more than it actually is. And so, hiding and isolating yourself is not only bad for your well being and your ability to, you know, show up and do your work and be creative, and all of these zone of genius things that we've talked about on the show before, we are not able to create from that state when we are hiding, when we're feeling ashamed, when we're isolating ourselves. 

And the other big way that entrepreneurs hide when they feel overwhelmed is not promoting their business, right? Not doing the consistent marketing activities, feeling like they're completely at capacity, right? You feel overwhelmed even if you need more clients, you don't have the capacity to bring on more clients. Or, if you need more exposure, you don't have the capacity to do the work to get that exposure. So, this hiding this perpetual cycle of overwhelm causing you to hide and then the hiding causing bigger problems within your business that not enoughness that you experience, and then internalizing all of that as something that is truly wrong with you - well, I think it's pretty easy to see how this will play out in a pretty cyclical pattern that is harmful to your business as well as harmful to you as a person and your self confidence and self-worth. 

So, the CEO solution here is to reframe the entire situation. I want you to reframe what overwhelm is to begin with. That is your starting point. So, overwhelm is an emotion. It is not a characteristic. Repeat that to yourself as many times as you need right now and use it the next time you feel overwhelmed. "Overwhelm is an emotion. It is not a characteristic". 

It has nothing to do with you as a person. It's simply a response to your thoughts. Because emotions are created by our thoughts, not our circumstances. They are not fundamentally who you are. They frankly have nothing to do with you. They are simply a response to the thoughts that you are thinking. And remember from our first problem and solution those thoughts - there are a lot of them, right? You have a lot of them going on in your head. And automatically, an over-abundance of thought is going to create overwhelm. That's simply how it works, right? 

So, getting those thoughts out of your head is important for making powerful decisions. And it's also important in this step, which is understanding that, yeah, you're just overwhelmed because you have a lot of things that are going on in your head. It has nothing to do with you. 

Instead of hiding or isolating, when you feel overwhelmed, you need to come back to your center and take all of the weight off your shoulders about what you're making this overwhelm mean and recognize how and when you're hiding, when you're isolating, when you're shaming yourself. So, really own that entire experience as something that you are doing to yourself that - hiding and shaming - that's something you're doing to yourself because you believe that it means something about you and it doesn't. It's not a characteristic, it's simply an emotional response to your thinking. 

And the third problem that I want to address today that is caused by overwhelm is indulging self-indulgent behavior or avoiding things. Avoiding the problem in general. So, this is an interesting one because this actually is often a reaction to shaming ourselves. So, the - the previous problem of hiding and isolating generally causes this sort of inner conflict that we respond to - many of us respond to - with this indulgent avoidant behavior. 

It's so fascinating because if you are anything like me, you've probably done quite a bit of personal development work in your lifetime - certainly within your career. It's hard to be a business owner and not have done some sort of personal development work. And so, often this indulgent behavior is sort of our overcorrection of trying to be kind to ourselves, trying to be nice and take care of ourselves after doing the shaming thing, which is very much ingrained from childhood. This kind of indulgent behavior is often something that we develop in our later lifetime or in our adulthood.

And so you know, like, Netflix and chill, great in concept, right? And I am all for doing activities that help you completely shut off your brain and don't necessarily have to be, you know, healthy activities, but they're good for you because you need them. However, indulging and avoiding is just like our short-sighted decisions in that it has short-term benefit at the expense of a long-term goal or desire. 

One really good example of this for entrepreneurs is looking at numbers. And this could be looking at money, but even specifically looking at numbers like data when it comes to emails that you send, or social media insights, website clicks, just tracking any kind of information like that. A lot of overwhelmed entrepreneurs are trying so hard to just keep things moving forward, right? They're making those short-sighted decisions on what's next? What's next? What's next? That even the idea of going back and looking at how many people actually did open that email, or how many people are clicking through on my Facebook post? The idea of looking at that and seeing that it's not worth their time, or that it's - it's, I shouldn't even say that, but it's not giving them the result that they expected it to, that feels painful and they avoid it. They don't want to see it because they don't want to feel bad about the potential that they have been doing something that isn't working for them. Because they're just trying, again, so hard to keep things moving forward. 

But again, this is a problem because it's avoiding the real information that you need to make those powerful decisions. You've got to look head on at the elements, the activities, the behaviors, the habits, the way you're spending your time, right? These are all important components for the success of your business as well as the bigger goals of your life. If you're avoiding doing or looking at or understanding those things because you are overwhelmed because you're already feeling bad and you're afraid they will make you feel worse, well, that is a problem in your business.

So, the CEO solution here is to eat the frog. Have you heard that phrase? It's a book, too, and the premise is that you tackle the thing that you are dreading the most or the thing that you are avoiding the most, in this case. And imagine, I think you can follow here, how you will feel - how much freer you will feel - once that thing is off of your plate. Because you're spending so much of your energy and resistance trying to run away from it and avoid it, that you would get all that energy back if you were to just get it done. 

So, take a deep breath, remember that you are a human being and the overwhelm is caused by your thoughts, that it is normal and it is also within your control. Zen entrepreneur here. And then take an honest look at what you are avoiding and what it would look like to get it done. What would it take? How would you feel after you did it? Is it something that would give you that longer-term benefit versus this short-term discomfort? 

Alright, so, that's what I've got for you today: three specific ways that overwhelm turns into problems within your business and how to create CEO solutions to each one of those problems. I hope that this has been helpful and enlightening and giving you some new inspiration, new ways to get through some of these overwhelming moments that we all experience in our business. 

If you have any questions or you need more support, you can find me on Instagram  @linsibrownson or schedule a free consultation if you're interested in working with a coach. Alright, you guys have a great week. 

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