80: Using the Turnaround to Get Perspective.
On today’s episode, I am talking about the turnaround, an easy way to get some perspective on whatever is bugging you. This is taken from The Work of Bryon Katie. She does four questions and a turnaround.
So today what we are talking about is the turnaround. It is kind of like playing opposite day with your thoughts. The purpose of the turnaround is to get perspective and sometimes that perspective is so powerful it just instantly releases all of the weight of whatever you have been carrying around.
In This Episode:
[01:19] So today what we are talking about is the turnaround. It is kind of like playing opposite day with your thoughts.
[01:37] ANNOUNCEMENT: I am launching an ask me anything for you (my podcast listeners). Submit your question here.
[02:38] The purpose of the turnaround is to get perspective and sometimes that perspective is so powerful it just instantly releases all of the weight of whatever you have been carrying around.
[03:08] it can help you recognize that your thoughts are optional.
[03:50] Some turnarounds will be very obvious for you but some will actually be pretty challenging to figure out the opposite thought that can give you the most power.
[04:32] Start by doing a brain dump on paper of something that is bugging you right now.
[05:07] The difference between a brain dump and a journal entry is that you want to give every thought that you have its own line like a list. Keep asking why. Give your brain a chance to get it all out.
[05:15] If there isn’t something specific that’s bothering you but you are just feeling generally anxious or frustrated. Then you want to start by asking yourself how you are feeling right now. Then you will list each emotion that comes up. Then you ask why you are feeling that way.
[07:42] Next you will grab another piece of paper and you are going to rewrite your same thought as a turnaround.
[08:51] Linsi shares turnaround examples when frustrated with other people.
[09:25] When you are doing the turnaround thought you want to look at what is really painful behind the thought itself. It is more about restating to yourself in a way that feels empowering instead of painful.
[11:31] The turnaround puts you back in the driver’s seat, it gives you ownership over what’s going on, and it helps you actually see that everything you are thinking about someone or something else is ultimately something you are thinking about yourself.
[11:54] When Linsi starts to recognize that she is having judgments about herself and others she decides ultimately that her main goal is to drop the judgment.
[12:24] The turnaround is such a powerful tool to help us get back to the place where we are really being the brilliant business owner and person we can be and want to be.
Questions to Ask:
What’s bothering me right now?
Who is bothering me right now?
Why is that bothering me?
What are they doing that is bothering me?
What do I wish was different?
How am I feeling right now?
Why am I feeling this way?
Connect with Linsi:
Transcript
You are listening to Be Brilliant in your Business, the podcast for busy business owners to take charge of your time and energy to create meaning and momentum in your life. I'm your host, Linsi Brownson, certified coach and seasoned entrepreneur, and I know what it takes to run a thriving small business that works for your life. Join me for an honest look into the minds of small business owners as they share with you stories, coaching and solutions to the biggest problems that keep people from realizing their dreams.
Before we dive into today's episode, I want to welcome new listeners. I'm so glad you're here. And I look forward to being part of your brilliant business. Be sure to hit the subscribe button, because we've got new episodes for you each week. Are you ready?
Let's go. Hey, Mavericks. Welcome to the show. Today we're talking about the turnaround an easy way to get some perspective on whatever is bugging you. This is taken from the Work of Byron Katie, she does for questions and a turnaround. And so today, what we're talking about is the turnaround. And it's kind of like playing opposite day with your thoughts. It's like thinking about it that way. Remember, opposite day. Yes. Okay.
So before we jump into that, I just want to remind you that I recently launched the Ask me anything. For podcast listeners, if you go to be brilliant listener.com, you can submit anything that's on your mind. Any question that you have, if there's a topic you want to get some coaching on, you want to pick my brain about the podcast or about my business, anything that you want to know, I would love to answer it for you. So if you go over to be brilliant listener.com, you can submit your question there. And then I will take those questions and either do a podcast episode to answer the questions. So you might be inspiring some future episodes here. Or I will if you sign up for the email list, I will be answering all of those questions all of the relevant ones to the email list. So if you make sure that you also opt in for that email list, and that is how you will get the answer to your question. So go over to be brilliant listener.com. And tell me what you want to know.
Alright, so let's jump into the turnaround. As I mentioned, the purpose of the turnaround is to get perspective. And sometimes that perspective is so powerful that it just instantly releases all of the weight of whatever you've been carrying around. It's really cool, how quickly, we can see things change sometimes. And other times, it's empowering, just because it helps you recognize that there are other optional thoughts, or it helps you recognize that your thoughts are optional to begin with. Because we don't go through our lives thinking that what we think is optional. We go through life thinking that what we think is true.
So the turnaround is so simple, which is why I love it. And it's why it always works. The simplicity is gold. So I'm going to give you some examples of turnarounds. And when you do this for yourself, I want to have you really consider the root of what it is that you're thinking like what is really the problem. And then I want you to look at the opposite of that. So we'll dig into that in a moment. But the reason for this is because some of those turnarounds will be really obvious to you. But others will actually be pretty challenging to figure out what is the opposite thought that is actually going to give me the biggest Aha, or give me the most power here.
So that's why I want to give you some examples in just a moment, some of those trickier ones, but what you're going to do either right now, I would love it if you are able to stop the podcast and actually do this with me like a workshop. Or if you're not able to do that if you're driving or walking or you're doing something that you can actually work along, make sure that you come back and do this part of the work for yourself later on.
So what you're going to do is a brain dump on paper of something that's bugging you right now. So I want you to grab a piece of paper, maybe there's something that you can think of pretty easily something kind of at the top of your head, maybe there's a person that is bugging you, or maybe you just got a notification of something that's kind of irking you. Or maybe there's something on your to do list that feels like this heavy weight or this thing that you're dreading. Whatever comes to mind for you. I want you to do your brain dump specifically on that topic. So when you do a brain dump, the difference between a brain dump and just a journal entry is that you want to give every thought that you have its own line. So you want to almost make like a list of things on your mind related to this topic. So what's happening in one sentence? Or if you have multiple sentences, you give each one of those their own line? What did this person say? What did this person do? What do you wish was different? Just ask yourself all the questions and keep asking why, why? Why is this the problem? Why does this bother me? Right? So you really give your brain a chance to let it all out. And everyone gets listed out in its own line on the piece of paper. So if there isn't something that's specific, that's bothering you, but you're just feeling generally anxious, or frustrated, or just any negative emotion at all, then you want to start by asking how am I feeling right now. And then you'll list each emotion that comes up, right? so anxious, frustrated, sad, angry, anything that you notice that's going on for you right? Now you give each one of those, they're online. And then for each one of those emotions, then you ask yourself the question, Well, why am I feeling this way? and write down everything you can think of around that specific emotion. So why am I feeling anxious? Why am I feeling frustrated? Why am I feeling irritated? Right? And there is no right way to do this.
But this is the way that I find really helpful to let myself dig in to those vague blocked feelings. Sometimes we just don't know how we're feeling and what we're thinking about until we give ourselves that chance to really keep asking, What is this? How am I feeling and so this part alone can be very helpful, give you so much insight, to just take yourself through the process of listing all of these thoughts out. And so this will maybe take you five to 10 minutes.
If you have something specific that's bugging you that you want to work on. And if you've just got lots of things on your mind, and you want to keep going until you've completely wrung your brain out like a sponge, by all means do that, that's always helpful, I always encourage you to get it all out there. But for this exercise, we're just going to pick one problem to look at. So let yourself dump it all out. But then come back and decide which problem you want to do this exercise with. Okay, you got your list. Awesome. Now, go grab a second sheet of paper. And for every line that relates to this one problem you chose, you're going to rewrite that same thought as a turnaround. Okay, so here are the examples that I promised you.
And I'm going to give you a hypothetical situation with another person that is really driving you nuts. And the reason I want to choose another person is because I think that some of those turnarounds make it so much clearer as an example, that it will help you in some of the other things. But you can absolutely see the parallels between another person and your business, what you might be thinking about your business, what you might be thinking about money, right, like anything you might have a problem with, it's pretty easy to see how that would also relate to thoughts that we have about other people. So I'm going to run through a list of all column original thoughts. And then I will come back and give you the original thought next to the turnaround just to make it super clean and clear. This is how my brain wants to see this.
Okay, so originally this person who's bugging you, you're thinking she's trying to control the situation. She keeps dragging this out. She's zaps my energy. She's always so negative. She doesn't see that she's making herself miserable. I'm so done with her. I don't want to be around people like her. I shouldn't have people pleased her. And I have so much judgment about her.
Okay, so let's play opposite day and find the turnaround of each of these thoughts. And remember, you want to look for is what's really painful behind the thought itself. So there might be some obvious turnarounds, but some of them might be a little trickier, because it's more about restating to yourself in a way that feels empowering instead of painful. So she's trying to control the situation. Turn around. I'm trying to control the situation. She keeps dragging this out. Turn around. I'm dragging this out in my mind. She zaps my energy, turn around. I zap my energy with my thoughts about her. She's always so negative, turn around, I'm always having negative thoughts about her. She doesn't see that she's making herself miserable. Turn around, I don't see that I'm making myself miserable about her. And I'm so done with her turnaround, I am so done with how I'm showing up with her. I don't want to be around people like her. Turn around. I'm believing that there are right and wrong people to be around. And I'm making other people responsible for my experiences. I shouldn't have people pleased her turn around. I shouldn't be arguing with my past. I have so much judgment about her. Turn around, I have so much judgment about me. Okay, if you want to see these side by side, I'm going to post these in the show notes so that you can look at them along with some of the questions that I asked earlier, that will help you with your brain dump. So you'll go to Linsibrownson.com, forward slash podcast forward slash 80. And I'll have that in the show notes over there.
It's just really helpful to get the visual on these side by side. And that is the turnaround it puts you back in the driver's seat. It gives you your ownership over what's going on. And it helps you actually see that everything that you're thinking about someone else, or something else is ultimately something that you are thinking about yourself. Which leads us to the question, knowing this, what do you want? For me, when I start to recognize that I'm having judgments about myself and others, I decide ultimately, that my main goal is to drop the judgment to settle myself into believing that I made the decisions and I acted the way that I was supposed to, that everything is working for me. And that all of it was leading me to this place where I can now show up a little more powerfully, a little more compassionately, and be focused on where I'm going instead of where I've been.
So the turnaround is such a powerful tool to help me get back into a place where I'm really being the brilliant person and the brilliant business owner that I know I can be and that I want to be for myself. That's what I have for you guys this week. I hope that this was helpful. And like I said, definitely take the time to go through and do this for yourself. If there's anything you get stuck on, this would actually be a great one to send to me for Ask Me Anything which you can do again, over at be brilliant listener.com and bring it to me, I'd be happy to help you work on it. Have a wonderful week, you guys. I will talk to you next week.
Hey, I know that running a small business can feel complicated. So let me help you uncomplicate it. I teach people how to harness their creative brainpower to take clear and focused action to accomplish their goals without burning out. I offer a free one hour consultation where we uncover what is really getting in your way right now. And I'll show you step by step how to create an aligned business that you will love to build. In this conversation. I'm going to give you the foundation to work confidently every single day. And it's going to be super simple. I want you to have the time, energy and freedom for everything that you want in life. And I want you to start having it right now. To find a time that works for you visit linsibrownson.com