79: Do You Have Fuzzy Blanket Syndrome?
On today’s episode, I am talking about something I like to call Fuzzy Blanket Syndrome. No, this isn’t actually a real syndrome, but I think it paints a really great visual in our minds to help us create more awareness for ourselves and how we are showing up in our businesses.
Most small business owners want to love their business. They want to do work that they are passionate about. Fuzzy Blanket Syndrome is when you want your business to make you feel all warm and snuggly inside. Do you suffer from fuzzy blanket syndrome? In this episode, I talk about how to get past fuzzy blanket syndrome and love your business.
In This Episode:
[01:10] We are talking about something I like to call Fuzzy Blanket Syndrome.
[01:34] ANNOUNCEMENT: I am launching an ask me anything for you (my podcast listeners). Submit your question here.
[02:41] Most small business owners want to love their business. They want to do work that they are passionate about.
[03:52] The small business owner lifestyle doesn’t have a manual, role, salary, vacation days, retirement fund, and a work schedule. Every day is up for grabs and every day you get instant feedback on your performance.
[04:18] When we notice we are not enjoying our business or overworking or we aren’t getting the results we want, we then have the flexibility to change it and to see different results very quickly.
[05:41] The more we start and stop things the harder it is to get momentum and the longer it takes.
[06:01] Having a business that we love is what we really want, right?
[06:13] Fuzzy Blanket Syndrome is when you want your business to make you feel all warm and snuggly inside. You want your business to give you security and be super easy to take care of.
[07:25] Your business isn’t a fuzzy blanket and it isn’t supposed to be. Your business only has one job to be a vehicle for you to make and sell things. Having a business has lots of perks.
[09:07] So many people want to love their business but their business just can’t do anything right. You won’t find a business that can do anything right. You need to love your business unconditionally and you need to do the work yourself with security, satisfaction, and happiness.
[09:40] Your relationship with your business is your thoughts about your business.
[10:33] If you believe that your business is the problem and that it is supposed to be this warm snuggly fuzzy blanket then you will only want to show up to do the stuff that feels good at least in the long term.
[11:19] If you want to love your business for the long haul, you want to start looking at the thoughts you’re having about your business.
[11:27] Ask yourself what you wish is different about your business. Write down your thoughts. Ask yourself how you would feel and what would you be thinking about your business if all of those things were exactly the way you want them.
[12:17] It is very important to write them down because now you have a very clear picture of the relationship problems you have with your business.
[12:33] It is time to take ownership of those thoughts. Now you can choose to believe those thoughts or decide to love your business no matter what.
[12:54] Even challenge those thoughts and see if they are really true.
[13:19] The more you give to your business and your relationship with your business the more you will get back but it is not coming from your business. It will always be coming from your thoughts.
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Transcript
You are listening to Be Brilliant in Your Business, the podcast for busy business owners to take charge of your time and energy to create meaning and momentum in your life. I'm your host, Linsi Brownson, certified coach and seasoned entrepreneur, and I know what it takes to run a thriving small business that works for your life. Join me for an honest look into the minds of small business owners as I share with you stories, coaching and solutions to the biggest problems that keep people from realizing their dreams. Before we dive into today's episode, I want to welcome new listeners.
I'm so glad you're here and I look forward to being part of your brilliant business. Be sure to hit the subscribe button because we've got new episodes for you each week. Are you ready? Let's go.
Hey, Mavericks. Welcome to the show. I am very happy to have you here. This week, we're going to talk about something I like to call the fuzzy blanket syndrome. Now, this is not a real syndrome. I just made this up. I hope you know that. But I think it paints a really great visual in our minds to help us create more awareness for ourselves and how we are showing up in our businesses. So before we jump into the fuzzy blanket syndrome, I have a little announcement to make. I am lunching and asked me anything for podcast listeners. So if you have questions, if you have a topic that you want a little bit of coaching on, or if you have questions about the podcast itself, or how I've built this podcast, anything you want to ask me really and truly, it's up for grabs, if you go to be brilliantlistener.com, you can submit your question there. And I'm going to I'm going to handle this a few different ways. So some of the questions I might do some listener episodes like q&a episodes on. So if you submit your question, I might read it and answer it on the show. And I'm also planning to answer some of them in my email. So make sure you sign up for the email list over there as well. So that your question, you can see your question when it gets answered. So ask me anything is over at be brilliant listener.com I hope you will come and send me your questions, I want to hear from you.
All right, let's dive in. So this week, we're talking about the fuzzy blanket syndrome. And here's I want to start with it. So most small business owners I talked to, they want to love their business. That's why they started their business, right, so that they could have a lifestyle that they enjoy. They want to do work that they're passionate about. And they don't want their work life or their business, to require them to sacrifice other things in their life that are important to them, like their family or health or friendships, right. And this is true for most of us, most of us choose our careers based on the lifestyle we want to have. That's one of the primary things we think about, right, which is why some people really love being employees, because they like having a clear definition of their role.
They like knowing what's expected of them. And they like knowing exactly how much they're going to get paid, and when and the benefits that come with having a job. And they enjoy at least traditionally the ability to clock out and say night night to your work at the end of the day. So that's one lifestyle where you kind of have this distinction between your work life and your personal life.
And then the small business owner lifestyle looks pretty much the opposite. There's no manual, no roll, no salary, no vacation days, no retirement fund, and no work schedule. Every day is up for grabs. And every day, you get instant feedback on your performance, which is awesome, because it means that when we notice that we're not enjoying our business, or we are overworking or we aren't getting the results that we want. We then have the flexibility to change it and to see different results very quickly. But the flip side of that is that we often overcorrect and make changes we don't need to make or changes that will even set us back in our business because we made them when we weren't completely clear on what the problem actually was.
So I touched on this in last week's episode on post decision doubt, because often we kind of freak out after we start new things or make changes right. And many entrepreneurs interpret that as they must have made the wrong decision. And then They want to scrap it all. So, Case in point, I was thinking about my first podcast, which I started in 2013 a minute ago. And I made it all the way to nine episodes before I quit. Because it was too much work. It was a waste of time, no one was listening. I wasn't enjoying myself, right? Those were all the things that I was telling myself back then. I've come a long way since then. And I now realize those are all thoughts. Anyway, it's awesome, right?
That we live in a world where you can just start a podcast overnight. And then we also live in a world where you can just decide you don't really want to do it anymore, and stop doing it. Right. But the more we start and stop things, or the more things we futz with in our business, the harder it is to get momentum and the longer it takes. So that's my real world example. You guys know I love giving you those. Let's bring it back to having a business that you love. This is what you want, right? Let's just sit with that for a second. Okay, here goes, this might be your problem.
Let me explain. This is what I call the fuzzy blanket syndrome. And what I mean is when you want your business to make you feel all warm and snuggly inside, you want your business to give you security. And you want your business to be super easy to take care of right? I call that machine washable business. You just chuck it in the laundry never get staticky as long as you'd like, throw it in every couple of weeks and check in on it all good. It's always wrinkle free, by the way. And it's super pretty to look at. If you can relate to this, if you've been thinking this way about your business, or if you're still thinking this way. I know some of you are thinking, a Yeah, where do I buy that? Can you order that on prime prime day today? I'm with you. It sounds totally awesome. And I think that Modern Marketing has conditioned us to believe that this is the norm, this is what we should be aiming for.
And this is what owning a business is supposed to be like, if you're doing it right. All the feels all the money work when you feel like it. It's amazing. Except that it's a lie. Your business is not a fuzzy blanket. And it isn't supposed to be. That's not your business's job. In fact, your business only has one job, to be a vehicle for you to make and sell things. Having a business has tons of perks, it gives you a platform for you to express your creativity, to set your own terms in life and to build connections, meaningful connections with people. And if you believe that these things are important, and you believe that it's working, then you will feel warm and snuggly and secure and happy inside. Which is lovely. until something changes. Uh huh. COVID. And then you start worrying, you start resenting and doubting and demanding that your business be better.
Let me give you a parallel here. You know, that friend that you used to have, who was always complaining about her boyfriend, she could list his flaws and alphabetical order off the top of her head. And she told these dramatic war stories about all the ways that he was constantly letting her down. And she would practically roll her eyes, as she humblebrag about the flowers that he bought her for her birthday, which were obviously her least favorite flowers, right? How could you not know this? You thought that this guy was the absolute worst? Until you met him. And it turns out that he's so sweet and charming, and loving toward her and seriously, so patience. And she's just impossible to please. This is the relationship that so many people have with their business. They want to love their business, but their business just can't do anything right. And much like your friend who by the way, is a really great person and we adore, you won't find a business that can do anything, right?
So instead, you have to decide to love your business unconditionally. And you need to do the work to provide yourself with security and satisfaction and happiness. Your relationship with your business is your thoughts about your business. Just like your friends relationship with her boyfriend was her thoughts about her boyfriend. And you believed that all of her thoughts were true until you met him yourself. And I bet you before you met him that you are giving her advice on what to do to change the situation right now. Obviously break up with him. Or at least give him a list of her favorite things and tell him really specifically buy me this, it'll make me happy. Or maybe you said, girl, you got to send yourself flowers and put another guy's name on the card, that's going to get his attention, right, you had all these great ideas to help her fix him. And I bet that once you met him, you realized that none of those solutions would have worked, because he wasn't the problem.
And if you believe that your business is the problem, and that it's supposed to be this warm, snuggly fuzzy blanket, then you'll only want to show up to do the stuff that feels good, at least in the long term, right? That's going to be what you're constantly comparing your business to. And then you'll keep trying to change the business, instead of changing your thoughts about the business. So if you want to love your business, for the long haul, you want to have a healthy, vibrant relationship with your business. Great news, you can totally have that starting right now you can go from, I think we should see other people too. I can't imagine my life without you in an instant, you can do it right now. And you can do it permanently.
You want to start to look at the thoughts that you're having about your business. So here's something I recommend. Ask yourself what you wish was different about your business? If you can make your business behave in any possible way? What would it do for you? What would it give you? What would it provide you with? How would it make you feel? Think of everything and write this down? You guys know, I'm always write down your thoughts. Everything that you wish your business would do differently, or was different about your business? and ask yourself, how would you feel? And what would you be thinking about your business, if all of those things were exactly the way that you want them? All your expectations were met, every request you ever made of your business was delivered to you? How would you think and feel about it, then. And this is why it's important to write it down. Because now you have a very clear picture of the relationship problems that you have with your business. Right.
So you might have lots of awesome thoughts about your business. But these right here are your thoughts about your business that are creating problems in your relationship with it. So it's time to take ownership of those thoughts. Now, you can choose to believe those thoughts to continue to believe those things about your business and want your business to prove you wrong. Or you can simply decide to love your business. Anyway, love it no matter what, or even challenge those thoughts, and see if they're really true. Maybe it's possible that your business already does provide you with tons of security, and that it already has everything built into it that you want to be there.
Right, really start to look at what it is that you think and if you want to continue to think that way. Or if you maybe want to think in a different way that might serve you and your business better. The more you give to your business and your relationship with your business, the more you will get back. But it's not coming from your business. It will always be coming from your thoughts. All right, you guys. That is what I have for you this week. I will see you again next week. And don't forget, go over to be brilliant listener.com to submit your listener question. And I look forward to answering all your questions. I can't wait to see what you've got for me. All right, you guys have a great week, we'll talk to you soon.
Hey, I know that running a small business can feel complicated. So let me help you uncomplicate it. I teach people how to harness their creative brainpower to take clear and focused action to accomplish their goals without burning out. I offer a free one hour consultation where we uncover what is really getting in your way right now. And I'll show you step by step how to create an aligned business that you will love to build. In this conversation. I'm going to give you the foundation to work confidently every single day. And it's going to be super simple. I want you to have the time, energy and freedom for everything that you want in life. And I want you to start having it right now. To find a time that works for you visit linsibrownson.com