53: Your feelings create your future

Emotions drive our actions and create the results that we have in our lives. 

Because of this, recognizing and managing your emotions is the secret sauce to creating what you really want. In this episode I am talking about the power of emotions for our future, present and past.

I’m dispelling some myths about motivation and hustling for a better future. And shifting your focus back to the one thing that makes the biggest difference between happiness and burnout. 

Episode Links:

• Connect with @linsibrownson on Instagram

• In my free consultation, I help business owners find the real problem and give them the foundation to work confidently every day. The plan is simple and the results are empowering.

Listen to all episodes of Be Brilliant in Your Business, on your favorite podcast app.

Transcript

Hey guys. How are you feeling today? That is what we're going to talk about.

This episode is all about our emotions, and the powerful role that our emotions have on the experience of our life. And, the things that we create in the approach to take to be able to manage our emotions so that we stay in charge of the life that we want.

Because our life is the collection of thoughts and feelings that we have about everything. How we think and feel about our past is our past. How we think and feel about our future is our future. And the same for the experiences we are having right now.

So the first thing that I want to talk about is the future. As business owners we are very "concerned" about the future. We fantasize about the future. We visualize it. We worry about it. We set goals and then we work really hard today, FOR our future.

The reason we do that is because we think that our future is going to be better than today. Because right now our satisfaction, overall in our life , hinges on BOTH the good stuff and the bad stuff that's happening. Right? So for a lot of people, the good stuff doesn't get as much attention or enjoyment because we're also working today to contend with the bad stuff.

And right now we have things that are missing in our life, that we think will have in the future. Money, time and achievements. We expect to have MORE of all of those things in our future, and we think about these things a lot. Because we think they will make our lives better.

Things will be better when we have them. So the first thing that you really need to understand, like fully understand, when it comes to managing your emotions and using your emotions to support you, is to know that things are never going to be better than they are right now.

You are never going to be more worthy. No matter what you have more of matter, or what you achieve in the future. You will not become more worthy and your life will not be better. Even if you achieve everything you set out to do.

And you guys hate that answer. This is a challenge sometimes when I'm doing consultations, or working with someone who has never worked with me before, or is completely new to coaching. I'm talking about this idea of sufficiency, and how expecting our future to be better than our present is an endless disappointment. And that's not where to focus your energy.

You hate that answer. Because you don't believe me. First of all, you think we'll of course the future is going to be better, especially if we're looking at times like right now, right? So we're in this time that feels scary and limiting in so many ways, and you think "how could it even be possible that a future where this isn't my reality anymore wouldn't be better?"

If that is true, then what the hell are we doing here? That's even worse, right?! Like, why would you hire me if not to make your life better? Where is the motivation if you're not actively working to make things better?

Here's what I want you to know: When motivation comes from wanting or needing to change things in order for your life to be better, it's not a good motivation anyway. It's not a strong enough motivation to keep you moving toward the things you want and it's not a motivation that will ever serve you in actually having the life that you want.

But how you experience your life can be very different, based on how you think and how you feel. And so the reason I want to make this distinction is because that understanding alone is going to release you from exhausting yourself in that endless hustle of trying to create a future that will not live up to your expectation.

And so what I really want you to take away from just this part, is the possibility that things RIGHT NOW are exactly as good as they ever will be. And the only thing that can actually get better is how you think and how you feel.

Really consider that. It might make sense as I'm saying it to you, but I know that if you are exhausted, if you're worried, if you're overwhelmed and confused…If this is a common experience when it comes to your business or your life (and it is for most of us) it is because what you're doing is trying to hurry yourself to a future that is better than today.

So my intention with this episode is to help you shift your focus, so you can look at what your REAL goal is and how to align yourself with it, using your ability to manage your emotions.

Where you want to start is with sufficiency. And you've heard me talk about sufficiency before, but this is where a lot of people get really confused. Because they equate sufficiency with "settling" or with "apathy" which brings me back to.. well, if it's not better in the future then what is the point, right?

People are so afraid to be good enough. Because we're just so used to motivating ourselves through pressure and through force. But I want you to remember your goal. What is the point, for you?

The goal of your life and your business is freedom, happiness. Being proud of your work and proud of who you are. Your real goal is always going to be a Feeling. That starts with sufficiency.

Because you have to know when is ENOUGH. You have to know what it feels like to actually have a goal. Not just achieve a goal and then move on to the next. You have to know what it actually feels like to HAVE the things that you want. And the only way to know this is by feeling it.

Settling, on the other hand, has a very different energy behind it. It's the energy of scarcity. It's the idea that "I can't have" or "I don't have" so "I just need to stop wanting it." Whereas sufficiency is freedom! It's the energy of "I already have, so what do I want to do with it?" "What do I want more of?"

Sufficiency is the prerequisite of abundance.

And knowing this changes everything. Because how you feel is how you act. All the things that you want to do and create for your future will be the result of how you're feeling.

Consistency for business owners is a skill that we have to master. And it's one of the most challenging skills that I see for most of the business owners I work with.

What we practice is always what we will perfect. And some of you are really perfecting your skill of self doubt instead of consistency.

Some of you are really perfecting changing your mind instead of following through.

Some of you are really perfecting the skill of being distracted from what you had planned to get done.

And the reason is NOT because there's anything wrong with you. The reason is because you're not aware of how you feel and how it's impacting the actions that you take. So you're not in charge of how you're feeling and the actions that you are taking.

So to recap; your future will not be better than your present. But this is actually really great news, because it allows you to work on creating sufficiency and loving what you have right now. You can feel more empowered, more proud, and more free right now, and then THAT will motivate and inspire you to consistently be working on the things that you really want.

I want this for all of you. This is my dream and my goal that small business owners have everything that they need always to be brilliant in their business. So if you want to really uncover and release yourself from exhaustion and distraction, and align yourself with that business and life that you really want, now and in the future, I invite you to come and work with me. I will help you sort out the details of your business. Things like your brand, time, marketing, all of that stuff. But what I'm really here to give you is a new way to see yourself, so that you will keep showing up and doing the work that you are meant to do.