50: In charge no matter what.

Why do people respond so differently to the same situations? It’s fascinating. Today I am talking about our brain’s response to uncertainty; WHY we react the way we do, and what you can do if you want to feel better in your current situation.

One of the things that I teach is Emotional Preparedness; The ability to be grounded and in your power no matter what happens outside of you. We need challenges in life that give us in-the-moment training, so I encourage you to think about how you want to grow and who you want to be in the process.

Sending lots of love to you. Be well.

Episode Links:

• Connect with @linsibrownson on Instagram

• In my free consultation, I help business owners find the real problem and give them the foundation to work confidently every day. The plan is simple and the results are empowering.

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Transcript

Hey Maverick, how are you? If you are listening to this episode in real time, phew, what a ride it has been the last few days! At the time of this recording, it has been about a week since it was declared a national emergency here in the U.S. due to the Coronavirus, and the rest of the world is just ahead or just behind us.

Many companies had already started sending their people home. The City of Austin decided pretty early on that they were going to cancel South by Southwest. So some things were happening, but really just a week ago it ramped up and all of a sudden, everyone's home, self-quarantining and waiting to see what is going to play out over the next few weeks. So as you can imagine, a lot of things are on people's minds right now. 

And so I got a few requests to create some content, or create some episodes, to help y'all feel better. And I've been thinking a lot about what I want to say and how I would want to do that. What would be the most useful and the most empowering to you? 

Because I do want to make you feel better! And I also recognize that is going to mean something different for so many people, right, everyone's going to have a different experience. So what I'm planning to do is put out a few episodes that are kind of along similar topics. 

This isn't a series, I don't have a specific thing that I'm teaching. But today I want to lay a foundation of this general sense of what's going on for all of us right now, and how to feel better. 

One thing that is really cool about my job, one of the many reasons that I just love what I do, is that I get to talk with a lot of small business owners. And so I get the opportunity to have a bit of a pulse on what people are thinking, feeling and doing. And as you might expect, right now, it's a pretty broad spectrum. A lot of different experiences a lot of different opinions, and perspectives. 

And the truth is that it's always this way. 

The conversations I'm having right now are no different than they ever are. From week to week, I get on the phone on coaching calls, and I talk with people who are having the experience of success and who have a lot of optimism and hope. And they're seeing opportunity everywhere. And then I get on the phone with people who are feeling a lot of fear and frustration and helplessness in their situation. 

And what's so fascinating for me is that this just happens to be a rare instance in time when the topic is the same topic for most of us because in “normal times” we all have different topics, right? 

There's different reasons that we think we're experiencing success versus fear or helplessness versus opportunity. Right now, we just all happen to be focused on the same topic. 

And that is kind of cool, because it creates a collective experience and it also brings up some new challenges for us that we're not used to having. Because what is really interesting to me is that right now we're physically isolated. But in our minds, we're actually being more communal than we often are. 

We're thinking constantly about the world at large, what's going on? globally, we're thinking about what's going on within our communities. You know, we're having tons of empathy and compassion, and concern for a lot of strangers that we don't even know. And we're actively putting ourselves in communities by going online, we're seeking each other out. 

We're looking for other people's opinions to help us form our own and to make decisions and judgments about our own opinions. And there are a great many opinions when we enter a global community, or at least a much larger community than the ones that we typically live in. 

And so I think in a lot of ways, it is really cool. And I want to start by really just bringing us back to center, I want to lay a bit of a foundation right now, based on the work that I do the things that I am always talking about on this podcast. Because I believe that this is some of the most important work that you will ever do in your lifetime. 

This is learning how to manage your mind and have emotional preparedness, and to stay focused and in charge, no matter what the circumstance is outside of you. So the simplest way to create this baseline for all of us is to remind you that we are all humans, and our human brain is built to be constantly seeking danger. 

We are wired to look for evidence of anything that might be scary and bad. And then as soon as we find that evidence, our brain’s job is to categorize the danger, and then react with either fight, flight or freeze. 

So I want you to just consider for a moment that this is what's happening for you, that you are, in some way, just operating on your default level. You may be wanting to take a bunch of action and find ways to get yourself prepared for something that's coming. You might be experiencing anger towards the people who are doing that, thinking that they're overreacting. You might be completely unwilling to look at this and at all, and just avoiding the subject altogether, trying to stay off of social media, or stay away from the news and just really trying to close it out and not think about it. 

And so I just want to offer the possibility that you might be responding right now, primarily, on default. And the reason that it's important to consider this is because often our default thinking is what gets us into trouble. 

We find ourselves justifying behavior that doesn't really serve us. So some of you are overeating. Or for me, I have been overeating sugar specifically, like really intense cravings for sugar. And I know that was the reason that that's coming up so strongly for me right now is because I'm trying to avoid feelings. And so it's easier to eat sugar than to deal with feelings. 

I see this a lot in people kind of hunkering down and not wanting to make decisions about their business or not wanting to move forward on plans that really are not impacted or don't need to be impacted by the world at large. I see this with people who are either really indulging in the news or in social media. I also see people who are really avoiding the news and social media. 

So there's a lot of different ways that this plays out. But our default patterns of thinking will always create the behavior that creates problems for us. These problems are not new. These problems did not come out of coronavirus being a thing. They have been the same problems for us all along, because they're based on our default thinking. 

So I just want you to be aware of the experience that you're having and actually utilizing what you know about creating awareness and about intentionally developing the behavior and the skill sets that you want for who you want to be in your life and using the situation of the coronavirus as an example of that rather than being the cause of what's going on around you. So I hope that makes sense. 

My first recommendation, always, is to just create some space create some awareness around how you are responding. What exactly is going on for you right now? And really be honest about how you feel and what you're thinking about. And then just ask yourself the question, “am I choosing this on purpose?” 

Are you actively researching and looking for information in the news because you want to be really well informed with the most up to date information? Or are you reacting and trying to make yourself feel better by consuming? 

Or, are you actively choosing to take some downtime, and to stay in bed and stay in your pajamas and watch Netflix, and just really like give your self the time and space to relax? Or are you avoiding dealing with the emotions that you have?  So just create that awareness and understand where it's coming from, and if it's a reaction or an intentional choice. 

I want to wrap this up, really by talking about this powerful moment in time,. I mentioned this a minute ago, I want you to take the circumstance of the coronavirus and insert it into the work that you already know is important and want to do.

And I think that is such an important perspective to have on this situation. Because I really truly feel that this work that I do, and that I help business owners do for themselves; Around creating our mindset intentionally, and understanding the power that we do have; What we actually do and can control in our lives, versus chasing after and trying to control the world at large in order for us to feel better. I think this is the most important (or I should say some of the most important but I'm biased). I think this is the most important work that we can ever do in our lifetimes. 

And so I really think for coaches, especially you guys, it is game time! Right now, what we know and what we can teach and help other people learn, there is no better time. I want you to think of this moment as the boot camp for your brain. This is an opportunity for you to strength train, to build muscle, to build the skillset in an accelerated amount of time. 

It’s gonna be hard, there is pain involved. And you can come out the other side of this whole experience a stronger person with a stronger business. And I really want to encourage you to step up and take ownership of your mental and emotional health right now. 

And like any muscle though, the way that you build it is by using it. This isn't something that you can understand intellectually, it's not something that you can figure out on paper. You have to actually be showing up every day and doing the exercises. You gain the muscle by actually picking up the weight, right? And so you've got to be willing to do this in real time. 

We need to have challenges like this in our lifetime that allow us to practice and build that muscle. So I think we have a tremendous opportunity right now to really uplevel who we are and the way that we're going to show up for ourselves. 

So I would love to hear from you, whatever it is that you're experiencing. I hope this is helpful to bring you back to the center and create some awareness for yourself and honor where you're at. If you have any questions, please reach out to me. I'm going to be doing another episode next week around the economy and the way that business is going small businesses going, and what to do about it. So stay tuned for that. And yeah, if you need anything you guys, I am here for you. Alright, have a great week.